


show of hands

by nicole_writes



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Kinda follows ani, Lu made me do it, Slight AUs, The Middleground gave me so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 08:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11870658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicole_writes/pseuds/nicole_writes
Summary: “Cilan is her friend. He doesn’t deserve to be psychoanalysed because ofhis hands.”wishfulshipping one-shot





	show of hands

When Iris meets Cilan, there are a few things she notices right away. He is tall and slim and holds himself with poise. He uses words that are too big and he knows too much about trivial things. Cilan gets excited far too easily and between him and Ash, Iris always seems to be smiling.

When he first offers her a hand up, she's struck all over again. Cilan has long, slender fingers devoid of callouses. His palms are smooth and his lifeline stretches from one side to the other. His nails are shaped perfectly and are immaculately clean and manicured. She would have teased him for how girly his hands are if they didn't suit him so terribly well.

She accepts his outstretched hand and notes the stark contrast of her dark skin to his paleness. His hands are soft and as soon as she's standing, Iris pulls away, her cheeks flaming. Cilan is her friend. He doesn't deserve to be psychoanalysed because of _his hands_.

Still, Iris doesn't forget how well his long fingers curl around her own.

\- ~ -

Iris shakes hands with Ash after a practice battle. She's won, naturally, and she's smirking when she takes Ash's hand in her own. She's almost startled by his grip. Ash's handshake is firm and warm and Iris can feel the callouses on Ash's palm. They have come from days, years even, spent outside being adventurous. She shares them with him. Ash's skin is darkened from the sun, but she's still darker. Her eyes wander from Ash's bright grin to where Cilan sits under a tree, safely in the shade.

He stands up and makes his way over to them. Ash slings an arm around Iris's shoulders and Iris smiles. He's a little kid, but his excitement and energy are rather contagious. Cilan passes Pikachu to Ash, and his arm disappears from around Iris. Ash chatters to his partner and Cilan and Iris make eye contact, amused.

Axew drops from a tree branch above onto Cilan, startling them both, and the connoisseur almost falls. He removes the Dragon-type from his head and holds him out to Iris. Her young Pokemon is cackling and Iris takes him in her arms. Her fingers brush against Cilan's fingertips and Iris draws her hands away like they're on fire. Cilan's gaze turns curious, but he says nothing as Ash butts in and exclaims how hungry he is.

\- ~ -

Ash disappears frequently after dinner to train and to write in a leather-bound journal he carries. Iris once asked to see inside of it, and Ash clutched it close to his heart, claiming personal information. Iris thinks he's writing about their journey, but also about the friends he has left behind. He talks about them often, and though he draws comparisons, Iris knows that she and Cilan are drastically different than other companions Ash has had before.

She wants to meet them. She wants to meet all of them, but Brock and Misty the most. Ash speaks the most fondly of them. They were with him for the longest and they seem to be the most similar to herself and Cilan. The way Ash raves about Misty, Iris knows she would like her. Fiery, smart, and fiercely strong. Brock sounds great, but it's probably biased of her to say she doesn't see how Brock could measure up to Cilan, despite how great Ash makes him seem.

That night, Cilan is reading a book near the fire, when Iris realises something.

"Cilan," she starts softly. "Do you think Ash will replace us too?"

The connoisseur glances at her. He closes his book. "Replace?"

"Well, when he's done here in Unova, do you think he'll move on quickly and hang out with a different group of companions?"

Cilan smiled gently. "I imagine that Ash will always keep moving. He's an adventurous person and if that leads him in a different direction than you or me, then maybe that's how it's supposed to be." He pauses. "But, to answer your question, I don't think he'll replace us. You see how often he talks about Brock, and Misty, and Tracey, and May, and Max, and Dawn. They're still his friends and even if we're not travelling with him any longer, I don't think he'll lose touch with us that easily. Besides, we're not quite like any of his other companions, are we?"

Iris laughs. Cilan has a way with words that makes her feel lighter almost instantly. "It would be pretty hard to be as cool as me," she teases.

Cilan's smile widens a little. "Of course," he agrees. Cilan lifts his book back up and Iris watches his slender fingers fiddle with the edge of a page. She looks away. Ash will be back soon, and she has better things to do than to be caught staring.

\- ~ -

"We should stay close together," Cilan suggests.

Iris peers around Ash into the cave. It's pitch black. There's no telling where it leads or how many branching paths they'll come across. It kind of gives her the creeps.

"Good plan," Ash agrees. He reaches out and takes Iris's hand. She blinks at him in confusion, but Ash looks back into the cave. He starts walking and pulls her along with him. She catches on; they'll hold hands so they don't get separated.

Iris instinctually reaches back and finds Cilan's hand with her own. His fingers lace between her own and their hands fit together so perfectly. He doesn't say a word, and neither does she.

Somehow, Ash leads them easily through the cave and they emerge ten minutes later on the other side. Ash's hand drops from hers and it takes Iris a second to communicate the message to drop Cilan's hand to her limb and her arm drops stiffly to her side. Her hands already feel cold at the loss of contact, but she doesn't look back.

\- ~ -

"Have you ever played the piano?" she asks suddenly.

Cilan nearly drops the plate he's cleaning and he looks at her. "Oh, is this because of…" He trails off and lifts a hand in front of his face, studying his long, narrow digits. "No, music was always Chili's thing."

Iris abruptly stops fiddling with Emolga's Pokeball. "Chili's thing? Why couldn't it have been yours too? I know you would have been amazing at it."

Cilan looks uncomfortable and Iris realises she's testing uncertain waters. "Chili was always the musical one and Cress wrote beautiful poetry."

"Did you draw or something?" Iris asks teasingly.

Cilan's head bobs awkwardly. "A little." Iris stares. Cilan takes a deep breath. "I mean, drawing was something I was alright at, but it felt like it was doing it because everyone expected me to be as artistic as Chili and Cress, but in a different way. It was the same about training Pansage, Pansear, and Panpour–we could be similar, but never the same."

"Cilan," Iris says, "with your brothers, did you ever feel special?"

"Of course," he answers smoothly. "We were always special, always unique, but I don't think I ever felt like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Becoming a connoisseur made me feel like I might have a clue." He puts the plate down and fidgets with the hem of his vest. "I think that I like to cook, and I was alright at drawing, but those were things that I picked up and developed a liking to because of my brothers."

Iris steps towards Cilan and brushes the edge of her hand against his. She lifts the plate he had been scrubbing and takes over where he left off. "Well, maybe you just need to find your passion then. You're the connoisseur, aren't you? Do an evaluation and find your fit!"

He laughs out loud. "You're right," he says, his tone noticeably brighter.

"I'm always right," she sasses in response and bumps their shoulders together. Cilan returns the action, and neither of them wipe the smiles off of their faces until Ash saunters back to the clearing and declares he's going to bed for the evening.

\- ~ -

Iris curls her knees to her chest and rests her chin on them. Her head is clouded with different emotions and she's not exactly sure what to think. She has left her home behind her, and Drayden has placed this crazy weight, this expectation on her, and she doesn't quite know where to go from today.

A rattling sigh escapes her chest and she shuts her eyes.

"Iris?" a familiar voice calls. Her eyes snap open and she sees Cilan standing before her. The connoisseur looks awkward, and Iris tries and fails to muster a smile. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know," she admits.

"Is this about Drayden?"

She nods. She doesn't really have the words to explain what she's feeling at the moment.

Cilan sits next to her. "Being a Gym Leader is a lot of commitment," he begins. "I know that is not what you're interested in, but it is also flexible. It allows for freedom and breaks. You'll be able to travel around and go to your home almost as often as you'd like, you know. And, Drayden has time before he retires yet. You're not trapped into a decision, by any means."

Iris nods slowly. "Were you scared when you, Cress, and Chili became the Gym Leaders of the Striaton City Gym?"

"More terrified than I'd ever been in my life. Our father had been the Gym Leader before us, and my grandfather before him. My dad couldn't just pass the gym to one of us, so he gave it to all of us and we made it into our own. If you become the Opelucid Gym Leader, no one expects you to be Drayden. We expect you to be Iris and if that means changing some things, then you change some things."

Iris smiles. "Thanks, Cilan."

"Just promise me you won't become Skyla," he adds as an afterthought.

She laughs. "I promise."

\- ~ -

The battle between Ash and Trip has built up over the travels of an entire region. Pikachu and Serperior both look frighteningly strong and Iris is on the edge of her seat. Really, it's bad luck that Ash and his rival have been paired off so early, but the tension between the pair could be cut with a knife.

Even from her seat high in the stands, the hairs on Iris's arms are standing up in anticipation. Without realising it, Iris's hand seeks out Cilan's and curls around it. He returns the gesture and Iris stiffens. She exhales slowly and keeps her eyes trained carefully on the match. Today is about Ash.

\- ~ -

Ash battles well through the tournament and though some moments are tense, the finale of his battle with Cameron is the most stressful. It is close–far too close to call in anyone's favour, despite Cameron's initial disadvantage.

This time, Iris isn't the one to make the move, but slim fingers wind between hers and she squeezes them in return.

Ash loses the battle and Iris lets go of Cilan's hand.

\- ~ -

Iris has received so many cards. The one from Ash makes her smile, and she recalls the Unova League he competed in three years ago. It hadn't ended well, but Iris had enjoyed watching her friend compete. After Ash had left for Kalos, Iris had gone to Johto. It was eye-opening, and she came back with a decision.

Drayden had been pleased to hear it and after several months of training, it had been time. Drayden resigned and Iris had stepped forwards as the new Gym Leader.

The counter of her kitchen in her new home, attached to her Gym, is littered with congratulatory cards. They're from friends across Unova and Napaj, many of whom she met through Ash.

Her fingers break the seal of the last unopened envelope. She slides the stationery out of the covering and examines it. Her lips curl up at the word written on it.

It isn't signed, but there's no need. She recognises the neat, practised script anywhere. Her fingertip traces the word and she smiles.

_Congratulations._

\- ~ -

Iris bangs on the door one last time for good measure. She's completely soaked and the rain is still coming down in sheets. She had abandoned the idea of a coat and stands, waterlogged, on the doorstep of a building she's not even sure has anyone home.

After a long second where she contemplates leaving, the latch slides away and the door is thrown open.

Cilan stares at her from inside the building, his jaw slack in surprise. "Iris, what are you doing here?"

"Surprise?" she replies weakly. She shivers. Raindrops catch in her eyelashes and she blinks them away.

Cilan reaches out and pulls her by the hand into his home. Chili is standing nearby and his eyebrows shoot up as Cilan shuts the door behind her. Nobody says anything for a moment and Iris looks down. She's making a puddle on the clean floors.

"I'll get a towel," Chili offers quickly and vanishes away to do exactly that.

Iris looks up and sees Cilan is staring at her.

"What are you doing here? Especially in the middle of a storm with no coat! Iris, I'm glad to see you, but why are you here?"

She lets out a short, shaky breath. "Alder is stepping down and Drayden and he want me to become the next Champion."

Cilan blinks. Iris stares into his green eyes and waits for him to say something.

"It's the middle of the night," he says finally. "You're soaked and freezing and I need a minute to process what you just said."

Chili reappears with a towel and Cress at his side. Iris takes the towel from Chili and starts drying her hair. Cilan remains silent for another minute.

"Iris, you can use my bathroom to shower. I think you left some clothes here from the last time you stayed over. Chili, Cress, you guys can go back to bed. I'll handle this," Cilan instructs.

Iris quickly heads towards where she knows Cilan's bedroom is. She walks through his room into the bathroom and stares at herself in the mirror. She stands there for almost five minutes before Cilan knocks on the doorframe and she realises he's standing behind her. She turns.

Cilan holds out a t-shirt and jeans that are definitely hers from the last time she slept over. Iris takes them without question and withdraws, but Cilan gently grabs her wrist, pulling her hand back towards him.

"Iris, we need to talk."

She looks down. "I'm sorry to drop in on you," she murmurs. They haven't seen each other face to face in three months thanks to how busy they've been.

"I am glad to see you," Cilan reaffirms. "But, about Alder," he starts and Iris shakes her head.

"I can't be Champion. I'm 21, Cilan. I can't be Champion when Ash is 22 and still fighting through Leagues to face the Elite Four with hopes of challenging a Champion. Not after the backlash from the new Sinnoh Champion."

"Iris," Cilan begins, "you could be anything you wanted to be. Do I believe you're strong enough to be Champion? Absolutely. Do I believe you could lead Unova to the future? Without a doubt. Should you become Champion? I have no idea. You're young, but you're idealistic and you're passionate. Unova would be hard-pressed to find another person like you. Alder and Drayden clearly believe in you, and so do I. Are you young? Of course, but so was Alder when he became Champion."

"I don't want to be Alder!" Iris snaps.

"Then don't!" Cilan replies sharply. "When you became Opelucid City's Gym Leader three years ago, you did not become Drayden. You made the position your own and you would do the same as the Champion of the Unova League." Cilan reaches out and takes both of Iris's hands in his own. "You can do anything, Iris. You just need to believe it's true."

Iris stares at their joined hands. Cilan's hands are still larger than hers and slender, but she feels the beginnings of adventurous callouses on his palms and a small, unwitting smile curls up the edges of her lips. His pale digits are wrapped perfectly around her own and she feels safer than she's felt since before Drayden and Alder called her to a private meeting.

"I don't deserve you," she says quietly.

Cilan detached on of his hands from hers and brushes it along her arm. "Iris, we established this years ago that this friendship does not go one way."

"I don't deserve you," she repeats. Cilan frowns, but she cuts him off. "Let me speak! I showed up freezing cold and soaking wet on your doorstep in the middle of the night. We haven't seen each other face to face in months and I drop a bomb on you like this. I've probably ruined the carpet in your house and you make me feel like this is my home too because you're here, even though I've never felt a bond with Striaton. Chili and Cress are my friends too, but you're different because you're here and you're holding me like this and I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you."

"Don't say anything at all," he suggests.

Iris takes his advice and leans towards him, breaking his grip on her, and hugging him tightly. Cilan's arms wrap around her without hesitation. Iris tenses as she realises she is still soaking wet.

"Cilan," she mutters, her voice a little muffled by his chest. "I am ruining your shirt."

He laughs and just pulls her a little bit tighter.

\- ~ -

"I am honoured to be serving Unova as your Champion. Thank you." Iris looks down at the podium, breaking her gaze with the crowd, and smooths her hands over the paper that carries her speech. There is no way that she would have ever been able to do it without help. Speeches have never been her strong suit, but thankfully, Cilan is much more polished when it comes to his words.

The crowd breaks into cheering and applause, and Iris can't disguise the smile that spreads across her face. She's the Champion. Eleven years ago this idea never would have crossed her mind, but now she's here. Alder and Drayden are standing off the stage and they both look proud of her. She steps away from the podium and crosses the stage. She descends down the steps and stands before her mentors.

"Thank you," she says again, but this time it is only for them.

Drayden nods. Alder lays a hand on her shoulder. "I would not have chosen you if I didn't know you would be great. You will be great," he assures.

Iris smiles. Her mentors leave her then, and her friends approach. Cilan is leading them, of course, but Trip, Georgia, Ash, Misty, May, and Drew are close behind. Trip and Georgia wound their way back into Iris's life as she began to get more entwined with the League as Trip is an official League Photographer and Georgia has taken over the Icirrus City Gym. Ash had introduced her to Misty and May.

Misty is every bit as fiery as Ash made her out to be, and there's a sharp glimmer in her eyes that Iris loves. She's in the running for the open Elite Four position in Kanto, and she thinks Lance, now her colleague, would be a fool to give it to anyone else. May is a huge contrast to Misty. She's sweet and oblivious and actually a lot like Ash. With May comes Drew, her longtime rival and boyfriend. Drew's cynical and snarky and everything May isn't, but Iris thinks they're a good fit. She likes Drew. His sarcasm keeps her sharp.

"Iris, that was awesome!" Ash exclaims, pushing forwards to hug her.

"Your speech was really good!" May adds, pulling Ash away so she can cram in her own hug.

Iris pats May's shoulder and makes eye contact with Cilan briefly. The connoisseur smiles at her warmly. "Well, I can't take all the praise for that one. Cilan helped me out a lot with it."

"You wrote the main ideas, I just tweaked it to make you sound better," Cilan corrects. "I don't need the praise for this."

"Well, it certainly helped you out there," Georgia remarks. Her tone is laced with sarcasm and Iris knows that her old rival is only teasing.

She sweeps her gaze over her other friends. They're all smiling, but Drew's expression flickers as his eyes catch something over her shoulder. Iris turns but sees nothing. Whatever Drew had seen, has moved on. She clasps her hands in front of her and smiles brightly again. Drew is still scowling, and she's about to push him on it when he answers her question by taking her firmly by the arm.

"Iris, move!" he demands, pulling her forwards.

She stumbles forwards and is about to chew Drew out when a gunshot rings out. Iris freezes and waits for pain, but nothing comes. Her ears are ringing and she's trembling, but she wasn't hit. Iris spins around and sees a figure standing further in the shadows holding a gun that is pointed directly at her. Her mouth falls open.

There's no way this man, obviously a hired gun, would have missed such an easy shot. There's surprise written across his face and Iris steps towards him, anger, confusion, and adrenaline fueling her. She takes two steps before another person tackles the shooter to the ground. It's a G-Men agent from Sinnoh who is part of the security detail. Iris prepares herself to run over when Georgia catches her attention.

"Iris!" Her rival's voice is as sharp as flint and this time there's no hint of joking.

Iris spins back to her friends and sees Trip is holding Cilan up, lest the connoisseur fall over. She strides urgently towards them and instantly feels sick. There's red welling up against the fine material of Cilan's suit and Iris's eyes flood with tears. Drew had jerked her forwards and Cilan had stepped straight into the trajectory of the bullet. Iris grasps Cilan's other arm and together, she and Trip lower him to the ground.

Misty is already on the phone with an ambulance. A pounding of footsteps announces the arrival of more people. It's Lance, Wallace, and Paul, the newly minted Sinnoh Champion, followed by Alder, Drayden and paparazzi. Cilan is on the ground bleeding out and Iris holds him desperately, her hands staining red with his blood. Iris's friends form a protective ring around her as Misty hangs up the phone.

_Cameras flash._

\- ~ -

Iris falls asleep in the waiting room. She doesn't mean to, but it's been hours since Cilan was admitted and taken to emergency surgery. She startles awake and nearly falls out of the hospital chair. Her consciousness is quickly noticed by someone, and Iris cranes her neck slightly to see Misty sitting, awake, nearby.

"He's out of surgery," she says before Iris can ask. "He's stable and they say he's going to be fine."

Iris breathes out a sigh of relief and tugs at a loose strand of her hair. It's still done in the extravagant style it had been done in for her inauguration. Misty is still dressed formally as well, but her hair is down around her shoulders and messy, like she's been running her fingers through it. Iris notices, with a jolt, that Ash is asleep in the chair next to Misty, and the Cerulean City Gym Leader's fingers are entwined with her friend's.

"You should go in and see him," a new voice suggests and Iris turns her head quickly. Trip is sitting just across the room, still wearing his suit, and he looks exhausted. Georgia is curled up next to him and Iris is surprised neither of them have left.

"Is he allowed visitors?" she asks.

"One for now," Misty informs her.

Iris glances around the waiting room. The five of them are alone. May and Drew had returned to Hoenn, unhappily considering the situation, because of prior commitments, but the others had stayed with her.

"Are Cress and Chili here yet?" Iris asks. Ash had called Cilan's brothers as soon as there had been a moment two and the other two Striaton triplets had immediately made for Opelucid City.

"No," Trip answers. "They're still on their way. Go sit with Cilan," he basically orders.

"Please do," Georgia agrees. Her voice is rough with sleep as she straightens, waking up. "You're worrying enough."

"Okay," Iris agrees after a moment's pause. "But you guys should all go change and get food. I'll get something as soon as someone comes to switch with me, but you should go now."

"That sounds like a good idea," Misty agrees. Iris stands and heads towards the private room where Cilan is supposed to be.

Iris hesitates with her hand on the doorknob, but she twists it. The last thing she hears when she closes the door behind her is Misty rousing Ash. After that, she's alone in the silent hospital room. Her gaze instantly falls to Cilan and she sinks into the chair next to his bed.

He's unconscious, naturally, but the gentle beeping of the heart monitor is reassuring. His green hair is pushed back from his face and his skin is still slightly paler than usual, but he looks alive. His chest rises and falls slowly as he breathes and Iris wants to cry.

He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her.

Her eyes find Cilan's hand. It is lying limp on the bed, long fingers curled subconsciously in his sleep. She tentatively raises her hand and threads her fingers through his. His skin is cold, but Iris holds on anyway.

She looks back at his face. He looks peaceful and a pang of something echoes in her chest.

" _I'm sorry_ ," she whispers.

\- ~ -

A gentle knock on the wooden doorframe draws Iris's attention. She glances back over her shoulder and sees Ash and Misty standing there. Iris smiles at them warily and they enter the small hospital room.

They've both changed into fresh clothes and look cleaner. Misty's hair is yanked up into a ponytail and Ash is wearing his signature hat. Pikachu is perched quietly on his trainer's shoulder and Iris knows he understands what kind of a situation this is.

"I brought you some clothes," Misty says, holding out a bundle of what Iris determines to be a casual set of clothes. "I'm taller than you, but they should fit, if you'd like."

"I can sit with Cilan while you change and get a bite to eat," Ash suggests, stepping forward. "I'll call you if anything happens."

Iris smiles. Her dress is heavy and awkward and wrinkled. She stands from the chair and heads to the door. "Thank you," she says to both of them.

Ash nods and slips past her to the chair she has vacated and Misty turns to lead the way out of the tiny room. Iris follows her and the two girls walk down the eerily silent hospital hallways towards a bathroom.

Misty breaks the silence. "Trip and Georgia went back to their hotel so that they could shower, change and get some real sleep. They said they'd be back. Ash and I showered at our hotel and decided to come relieve you."

Iris nods. "I'm grateful."

Misty pushes into the bathroom and looks around, determining it to be empty. She turns back to Iris and purses her lips. "You don't have to feel guilty about Cilan." Iris blinks, but Misty keeps going. "I don't think any of us could have predicted what happened and I don't think Cilan would have changed his actions, no matter what went down. I know, if I was in his place, I would have done the same thing."

"But it's my fault he got shot," Iris murmurs, almost cringing at how desperate and upset her own voice sounds.

"You love him, don't you?" Misty asks. Iris gapes and Misty gives her a small smile. "I can tell. It's the little things that give it away. But, tell me this: if you were in the same position as Cilan, what would you have done?"

"I would have taken the bullet," Iris says without hesitating.

"Cilan knows what he's doing, Iris," Misty assures. She hands the clothes to Iris and straightens. "I know what he was thinking and I know how he's going to continue to think. It's kind of a tricky situation loving someone in your situation."

Iris looks at Misty in surprise. "My situation?"

"You and Ash," Misty says, "you're both in this place where the media follows you insistently and any move you make, or one that someone makes towards you will be judged and documented and your privacy is always being invaded."

"So you and Ash are something? I never imagined that Ash could grow up enough to manage a real relationship," Iris replies, teasing a little.

Misty laughs. "He's Ash. I'm still not sure he knows what's going on, but everyone knows he'll be going after Lance's title soon enough, and you've just taken over for Alder. It's a lot of pressure on both of you, but also on Cilan and I."

"Misty, Cilan and I aren't anything," Iris denies. Cilan is her friend. Her friend with a musician's touch and a connoisseur's tongue and a smile that makes her heart skip.

Maybe they're a little more to her, but Cilan thinks she's a friend.

"That's Taurus dung and you know it. You've both just been too tentative about it," Misty replies. She lifts her phone for a second and smiles. "Now hurry up and change. Ash just texted me. Chili and Cress are here and Cilan is awake."

\- ~ -

Iris pushes open the door a little too harshly and it bangs into the wall. The eyes of those in the room are instantly drawn to her. Ash smothers a laugh and Iris glares at him. He's leaning against the wall near the door. Cress is sitting in the visitor's chair and Chili is perched on the edge of Cilan's hospital bed.

Cilan is propped up in his hospital bed and he's looking at Iris with so much relief in his eyes that it hurts. Iris freezes in the doorway and just looks at Cilan. He looks exhausted, but her eyes find his hands which are limply draped across the thin sheet, but he's waiting for her to say something. Iris swallows a lump in her throat and steps forwards.

"You're awake," she manages.

Cilan's lips almost twitch into a smile, but he doesn't get a chance to reply.

"Well, we'll leave you two alone!" Chili says cheerfully. He practically leaps off the bed and grabs Cress's arm, pulling his brother towards the door. Ash and Misty, who followed Iris in, also take their leaves and Chili closes the door behind him, leaving Iris standing across the room from her friend who took a bullet for her.

Iris has never felt so scared. The sheer panic that had washed over her when she realised that Cilan took the shock for her is still pulsing faintly beneath her skin. Seeing Cilan staring at her, conscious and probably alright, is a relief, but it makes her eyes well with tears all over again because she can't lose him.

"Iris," Cilan calls. His voice is soft and tired, but Iris can almost detect affection in it and it makes heat flush in her cheeks. "Sit," he requests.

Iris listens without even having to communicate the message to her feet. She all but falls into the chair next to the bed and just stares at the pale green of Cilan's hospital sheets, unable to even look him in the eye. She blinks away tears that try to burst. A slender, pale hand reaches into her line of vision and curls around her wrist, sliding to hold her hand.

Iris looks up at Cilan.

"I think you'll have to take the next bullet yourself, Madame Champion," he says. Cilan's hand squeezes hers lightly and Iris laughs despite it all.

"I love you," she says. There's no warning, no precedent and certainly no explanation.

Cilan's slender fingers are woven between hers and even though he's shot and recovering and she's going to be plagued by danger and stress and the media for the rest of her career, she loves him and it feels good.

"Well, I'll return your sentiment as soon as you get out of life-saving emergency surgery," Cilan teases. Iris rolls her eyes. Cilan lifts their joined hands slowly, so he doesn't agitate himself, and presses a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. "I love you too, Iris."

Iris squeezes his fingers and thinks about how Cilan's hands have played her like a fiddle. First, it was a curiosity and then an understanding and now an obsession, but he has wormed his way into her life in irreversible ways and he's there to stay.

_It's good_ , she thinks. _It's finally good._


End file.
